


Clonegasm!

by ApocalypseThen



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Fast Times In The Iridium Vault, Narcissism, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 12:00:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17939288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApocalypseThen/pseuds/ApocalypseThen
Summary: Shepard's evil clone has a thing or two to learn if she's going to replace her. Shepard takes the chance to show her just how high the bar is.





	Clonegasm!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Forlorn_Melody](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forlorn_Melody/gifts).



> This scene didn't fit into the other thing, so here it is, for your... uh... well. Sorry about this.

It had been a long, strange day. Shepard was a little bit buzzed from all the adrenaline and medi-gel. "I should go. I should... go. I should go-go. I should go..."

The iridium vault jerked into motion again.

Garrus breathed a sigh of relief. "Spirits. I should have known. You just let her think she caught us!"

Shepard looked at him quizzically. "Uh... no. Really, how the hell could I have guessed?" She chucked him on the arm as his face fell. "But thanks for the vote of confidence anyway, big guy."

Garrus checked his weapon over. "Well, shit."

"Hey, I would've thought of something!" Shepard protested. "Any minute!"

"What now?" rumbled Wrex, racking his shotgun.

The iridium vault popped out into the loading area it had so recently departed from. Shepard saw Brooks and the clone pull back from what looked like a heated exchange. She faced off with the clone across the barrier and tilted her head sideways just a little. The clone made a show of studying her, adopting the same wry smirk.

"Oh shit," said Shepard suddenly, her freckles blooming with understanding. "Oh shit, really?"

The clone grinned. "Brooks isn't having any of it. But, you know. Fuck it."

"I'm..." Garrus began.

"Confused," the clone sniped. Garrus stopped short, his mandibles flaring. "Really, what do you see in him?"

"Hey," Shepard protested. Weakly, though. "Not cool."

"And I'm..." Brooks started.

"A bitch," Shepard interjected.

The ensuing silence confirmed that everyone was on the same page. Brooks folded her arms and set her mouth in a disapproving line.

"Yeah, can it, Maya," said the clone. "We've got time."

Shepard and the clone locked eyes again. "How are we going to do this?" Shepard asked.

"Strip," said the clone. "Leave everything. Your alien fuckbuddies drop their pants. I drop the barrier and you come out. Then it goes back up again."

"Fuckbuddy?" grunted Wrex. "Please, I'm more of a fuck-monster."

"I'm still...no wait, I think I've got there," said Garrus. "Shepard, you can't be serious?"

Shepard reached across and entwined her hand in Garrus' claw. "I'm buying time, Garrus. That's all. It doesn't mean anything. Time for you guys to come up with a plan."

"Well..."

Shepard was naked and across the barrier in no time at all. Safe on the other side with the barrier up again, she turned back for a moment. "Besides, who gets to fuck their clone? You'd do the same."

Garrus was speechless. _I really wouldn't_ , he was thinking. His breath wasn't coming right.

Wrex was making a deep rumbling noise that could have been laughter. "Twins, Shepard. Heard of them?"

"Pfft," Shepard flapped her hand dismissively. "Don't be gross, Wrex. Also, look how smoking hot she is."

"Of all the narcissistic...!" Garrus finally found his voice, but he dropped into a low frequency thrum of alarm as Shepard took a running jump at the clone.

Naked against the clone's armor, Shepard found plenty of purchase, and went for the earlobes first.

The clone's eyes rolled up. She spread her arms for stability. Her knees folded gradually under Shepard's assault. "Holy shit," the clone breathed.

Shepard worked her way down to the clone's jawline, teasing the soft flesh with her teeth. By this time they were on the floor. "I'm gonna show you everything we like," she purred.

Brooks had her pistol out and was covering the writhing pair. She shot a disgusted glance at Garrus and Wrex. Garrus was transfixed, angry and horrified by turns. Wrex was feigning a lack of interest, leaning back on a storage unit.

"I've been with girls, guys and everything in between," Shepard whispered in the clone's ear. Loud enough for everyone to hear, which resulted in varying degrees of nausea. "Humans, asari, turians and quarians. Even a couple of synthetics."

Wrex harrumphed at the missing species on the list.

"And I've never been with an elcor either, Wrex!" Shepard called out, ruining the moment. "Some things just ain't meant to be! Get over it!"

Shepard switched from mock outrage back to sultry schoolmarm as she worked at the fastenings of the clone's undersuit. "And you?"

The clone, propped on her elbows, glanced at Brooks. She was embarrassed. "There was a lot on my plate," she admitted. "It was easier just to stay in."

Shepard blinked knowingly. "You poor thing. I bet she never even showed you this." She wound her hands around the clone's throat and wedged a thigh between her legs. Then she squeezed deliberately, bearing down with her thigh at the same time.

The clone scrabbled at Shepard's forearms for a moment before focusing on Shepard's eyes.

"Come on," Shepard encouraged. "We love this. Right? Right."

The clone's face reddened as she pushed and squirmed. Shepard relented and she gasped for air.

Garrus' rifle hung listlessly as he stared.

Wrex chuckled grimly. "Better take notes, Garrus," he said. "I have a feeling there's going to be a quiz later."

Shepard had slipped down and taken the clone's sex in her mouth. The clone lay spread, arms and legs twitching, as Shepard worked her over.

"Oh-shiii..." the clone gasped. "Fuuu-shhh..."

Shepard started to suckle at the meat of the clone's clit, the way her favorite toy did for her. 

"Nuh...nuh...NUH!" Forced through her first orgasm, the clone recovered her strength admirably quickly, and fought back.

Shepard had seen those moves before, though, and the clone was surprised to find herself on her knees with a finger deep in her asshole and another flicking her nipples. She squealed and bucked and then had to scrabble away to avoid Shepard's dirty finger.

"Nasty!" the clone protested, her chest heaving.

"Acquired taste," Shepard admitted. She wiped her finger on the clone's armor, and leaned in for a deep kiss.

Shepard's hands around her throat again, the clone reddened and struggled weakly as the kiss ran long. Shepard wedged a knee between the clone's legs and bore down. The clone's eyes rolled up.

"If you think you're gonna replace me," Shepard hissed, "you're gonna have to update my dating profiles. A lot of people are gonna be disappointed."

"Aliens," rasped the clone, "...uh... can go suck... my... fuuuuuhhhhh..."

Shepard smirked even as she worked. "Every extra-site, every brothel, any place people fuck, I'm known. You might fool the council. You'll never fool anyone I've done _this_ to." She folded her hand in a very specific way and put it to use.

Revelation painted the clone's face in fetching shades of wide-eyed bliss. "How... hunh!" she gasped.

"You pick up a few things," Shepard replied, "shipping with aliens."

Garrus didn't know whether to shout or shit. "She never did that with me," he muttered in a wounded voice.

"Hidden depths," agreed Wrex, although it wasn't obvious if he was referring to Shepard's character or making some more literal observation. He made sure his omnitool was still recording.

Even Brooks looked jealous when the screaming started.


End file.
